Funny Short Birthday Wishes

Here are some short and funny messages to send to friends, family, or colleagues.  These are also great for text messages.

  • Happy Birthday, you’re not getting older you’re just a little closer to death.
  • To the nation’s best kept secret; Your true age.
  • Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!
  • Money’s tight
    Times are hard
    Here’s you friggin birthday card
  • Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  • Better to be over the hill than burried under it.
  • You are only as old as you act.
  • So many candles… so little cake.
  • Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you smell like a monkey, and you look like one too.
  • We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
  • Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake.
  • You’re another year older and another year wiser
    So put your brain to work
    And figure out there ain’t no gift for you.
  • Two tips on your birthday:
    1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
    2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
  • Some words of wisdom for your birthday, “Smile while you still have teeth!”
  • Happy Birthday you old fart.
  • Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  • Another year, another new place thet aches.
  • One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
  • The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you’re getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
  • It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
  • With age comes wisdom. (You’re one of the wisest people I know!)
  • I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.
  • You’re not old until you can’t read this writing anymore. (written in real small text)

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